From Lonely to Loved: A Blueprint to Building Lasting Friendships with Carol Roper

When I started this podcast, my two best friends, Frieda Younts and Julie Bagwell, graciously agreed to be my first interview. We wanted to help other women find and experience friendship like ours, because good, godly friends can have an amazing impact on your life, as we all can testify. One of the things Frieda said during that interview describes the foundation of our friendship.

She said, “We started with [honoring God in our get-togethers]. When we started with that, God knit us together. That’s why we don’t have huge arguments because we’re knit together by God. He started our friendship, and I think we’ll be friends till we die.”

I sure hope so.

You might be listening to this thinking, “Good for you, Carol. I’m glad you found your friends but I’m still lonely, wishing I had at least one good friend I could count on.” And I understand. I remember how hard those days were when I was a young mom. Or maybe your kids have moved out and you’re struggling to learn how to live this new empty-nest lifestyle and would love to pour out your heart to other women in the same stage of life. Or you may have recently moved to a new community, and you don’t know how to find someone you can relate to.

As I look back at how our friendship formed, I see lessons I’ve learned and things we did right when we weren’t even aware of it. In this episode I share some things we did that I hope will help you find your own lifelong friends:

1. Ask God to bring faithful friends who love Him into your life. Ask that they be women of integrity who want to live a life that honors Him. God wants to answer that prayer.
2. When someone asks you to do something that scares you, don’t automatically say no. Listen to the Holy Spirit’s leading. I laugh today thinking how terrified I was to pray out loud in front of Julie and Frieda. Now it’s become second nature to me. I sarcastically say Julie dragged me out of my comfort zone. It wasn’t that harsh. It was more of an encouraging. Now I go to conferences all by myself. Recently, I flew all the way to Texas alone to attend a mastermind retreat. Was I scared? Absolutely! But I met some incredible women there who are now new friends. Julie and Frieda were the catalyst that gave me the courage to do that.
3. Conversely, if you’re the adventuresome one, be patient with women who may not be as prone to do new things. God often brings opposite personalities together. Don’t force or make fun of them. Ask God to give you ideas of what she may be most comfortable with and then go from there. Don’t badger. Just pray for her to have courage and gently coax her along toward growing in faith together.
4. Be there for others. Even if you’re not looking to create a new friendship, your being there when someone needs you or helping them serve in some capacity can open doors to make new friends. Take a meal to someone. Offer to meet a frazzled mom for coffee. Serve on the PTA.
5. Be open to new experiences. Several years ago, I decided to be a mentor mom at a MOPS group that was 30 minutes away, where I didn’t know a soul. The first time I attended I met Ruthie McCraw, whose husband’s family was from my hometown. We knew several of the same people and immediately hit it off. God drew me to Ruthie, even though she was a little older than me. I stepped out to help younger moms and in return God brought another dear friend into my life.
6. If you’re in a friendship with women who gossip or badmouth their husband’s or others, that’s not the best place to find friends who will help you grow your relationship with God. Join a Bible study in your church or community. Listen intently and study the word for yourself. Julie, Frieda and I are always excited to share what God is teaching us and how He is working in our lives.
7. Pray. Pray together. Pray for each other. Always be ready to offer a prayer when a friend needs it. After all, prayer is what brought the three of us together in the first place.
8. Be the friend you’d like to have. Sometimes we can be so inwardly focused we forget there are others out there who may need a friend as well and we can take the first step.

If you’d like to be part of the Building Strong Homes Community sign up for my email list here where you’ll also receive my baked spaghetti recipe here. You can also become part of my free Facebook community

Listen to From Lonely to Loved: A Blueprint to Building Lasting Friendships with Carol Roper

Watch on YouTube From Lonely to Loved: A Blueprint to Building Lasting Friendships with Carol Roper