Give thanks in everything, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. – 1 Thessalonians 5:18
My husband, Fred, was a wonderful man with many good qualities. Like all humans, however, he had a few behaviors that didn’t always seem endearing. One was his toothpick habit.
Fred used more toothpicks and used them more often than any person I’ve ever known. And he left them everywhere. Shirt pockets, tabletops, vehicles, and any other surface in Fred’s vicinity was littered with used toothpicks.
And it drove me crazy!
To me, those toothpicks represented thoughtlessness. Didn’t he notice someone had to clean them up? How hard could it be to just throw each one in the nearest trash can when he finished with it? It seemed I was constantly picking up his used toothpicks and throwing them away. I didn’t nag about it. Well, not much.
Instead, I grumbled under my breath and complained to myself about it. Each time I saw one of those toothpicks left sitting someplace, I inwardly fumed. Annoyance and resentment would arise in me every single time I found one. I rarely mentioned it but I let bitterness grow in my heart. That bitterness came out anytime we had a disagreement as sharp, unloving words that I always regretted afterward.
When Fred had his heart attack, we arrived at the Emergency Room around 6:30 pm on that Friday evening. It was 3:00 am before the Emergency Room doctors decided he was stable and finally got him admitted and moved to a hospital room. We had left the house in a hurry. I hadn’t packed a bag, fed the dog, or prepared in any way for a lengthy absence. Once he was settled in his room and seemed in no imminent danger, he insisted I go home, eat, and sleep.
“Take care of the dog and pack a bag for me.” he instructed. “I’ll be fine. You need some sleep.”
Even from a hospital bed, Fred was always doing his best to take care of me.
I drove home exhausted but grateful that he hadn’t died and was out of immediate danger.
Our dog greeted me enthusiastically. I walked in the back door, dropped my purse on the counter, and gave her some attention. Then, I fed her. I was too tired to eat, so I headed into the bedroom.
That’s when I saw the toothpick on the floor next to the bed. The sight of that toothpick stopped me in my tracks.
I fell to my knees sobbing. All I could think was “What if he had died? What if he were never here again to leave those toothpicks all over the place? How could I have ever thought this was a big deal?”
I picked up that toothpick and held it between my palms as I prayed a repentant prayer, asking God’s forgiveness for my terrible attitude.
“Please, Lord, forgive me for being resentful and bitter. Forgive me for being ungrateful and focused on all the wrong things. Cleanse me, Father, of this unrighteous attitude. Help me to turn away from this sin. Please replace my annoyance with gratitude. I am so grateful that Fred is still alive. I am so grateful for Your forgiveness.”
When I packed Fred’s bag with the things he would need to be more comfortable in the hospital, I made sure to include a supply of toothpicks.
When Fred came home from the hospital, there were once again toothpicks on every table and counter, and in his shirt pockets. Each time I picked one up to throw it away, I whispered a prayer of thanks.
Instead of representing a lack of consideration, those toothpicks had come to represent Fred’s presence. They were a reminder of how close I’d come to losing him. They were a reminder that no matter what someone else does, I am never justified in being resentful, bitter, or having a bad attitude. I was a better wife to him for the remaining three years of his life because of it. Not perfect, but better.
Victoria Stewart is the author of the Christian novel When It Reines, a story of friendship,
forgiveness, and second chances. She writes to encourage women with biblical truth and lasting
hope through stories, devotions, and speaking. Victoria lives in south Alabama with her
schnauzer, Bullet the Wonderdog. You can find out more about her at VictoriaStewartBooks.com