Bittersweet

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Yesterday was bittersweet.

I attended the wedding shower of a young lady I’ve known for almost two decades. The event was hosted by my former pastor’s wife and held at the church I was a member of for thirty-three years—the church I never wanted to leave.

I pulled into the familiar parking spot behind the fellowship hall, right next to the playground where my kids spent many happy hours. It seemed as if I’d never left. It was home.

As I turned the corner of the building I hesitated, wondering how much had changed over the last two years—and how much had stayed the same.

The shower was in full swing by the time I arrived, all of the ladies sitting in a semi-circle around the bride as she unwrapped the stack of gifts. I quickly set mine down and found a seat. Immediately I felt the warmth of old friends as they asked how I was doing and told me how happy they were to see me. The conversation flowed easily with them about the goings-on in my life and I eagerly asked about their families. My dry soul was being quenched by the sweet fellowship we enjoyed.

I lingered long past the shower’s end, not wanting to leave the warmth of their circle of love and friendship. They knew me—really knew me—and loved me. Oh, how I long for that again.

The church my family is attending now has a sweet spirit and the tangible presence of Jesus—it’s why we continue being drawn there each week. The people are kind and friendly, always willing to greet us and help us feel included. But it takes a long time to develop relationships like the ones formed at our home church.

I’d been a member of that church since I was a teen and developed and grew in my spiritual walk because of those who took the time to invest in me. They gave me the freedom to teach and develop new ministries while cheering me on all the way. Those precious people will always hold a special place in my heart.

But God has called my family away from there. I’m still not exactly sure why. Maybe it involves getting me out of my comfort zone. It always hurts to leave a place of familiarity—where you know what to expect and what’s expected of you. I’m now in this new place, navigating my way through unfamiliar territory with my type “A” personality that’s no longer in control.

Now God is the one I need to turn to for support. I’m desperate for Him in this season of change and I know that’s part of His purpose as well. Instead of having a built-in ministry to work from, He’s calling me to forge a new path and develop new, cherished friendships. I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s scary and lonely. But I’m doing my best to be obedient to His call, praying fervently for His direction.

If you’re going through a season of loneliness, know that God hasn’t forgotten about you. He’s using this time to stretch you and draw you closer to Him, implementing His perfect plan to give you hope and a future. Trust Him.

Has God drawn you away from your comfort zone?
I’d love to hear about your journey.