One of the struggles that hit every family in some way is when you lose someone you love. Today’s guest, Mike Nappa, lost his beloved wife, Amy, to cancer in 2016. In the years since her passing God has helped him to learn why grieving is such an important part of losing a loved one and how He’s taught him how to grieve well.
This is one of the most touching and informative interviews I’ve done.
Mike has such a heart for those who are walking their own grief journey, and he truly wants to help those who are hurting as well as those who are trying to be there for them and understand their pain and what they need. He shares what one friend does for him every year on the anniversary of his wife’s death (which, by the way is September 11) and why that has helped him to not only grieve that day well but also to look forward to it. Mike also talks about how his then three-year-old granddaughter struggled with her own grief and how one teacher recognized and helped her deal with her grief in the middle of a meltdown. He also gives wise advice to someone who is in the depth of despair in their grief journey.
Before I interviewed Mike, I asked my mom if she had any questions she’d like me to ask him since she’s not quite three years out from losing my dad. He was genuinely happy to answer her question. Mike truly is one of the nicest guys I’ve ever had the pleasure of talking to and I know our conversation will be a blessing to you.
Quotes from Mike
“Grief is a consequence of love. So, if we grieve deeply then it means we have loved deeply.”
“It’s emblematic of the culture we live in. We’re in this place to be endured and then left behind… that we’re supposed to shove them aside and If we’re still feeling grief then we’re supposed to hide it and bury it and keep it down.”
“If I’m grieving well, I’m imitating a God who also grieved.”
“We need to grieve in ways that don’t shortcut the grieving process.”
“We need to stop trying to escape that which is normal, and which can actually be healthy, can actually make us a better person.”
“God is not offended by my grief. He’s able to take it.”
“Faith requires the ability both to believe for the miracle and also to continue believing when there is no miracle. I would have preferred the miracle part, but I understand.”
“The thing that people want to do for someone who is grieving is to fix them… to cheer them up… I didn’t need those lectures and I didn’t need those sermons and I didn’t need to be fixed. What I needed most was somebody who would sit next to me when I was crying. And then come back the next day and do it again.”
“Grief is the kind of thing… if you embrace it instead of fighting against it God will use it to draw you nearer to Him.”
“Sometimes we have to hurt in order to love the hurting.”
“In the end Amy is not my reason for living. My reason for living is Christ and Christ alone.”
“As long as there’s breath in my body there’s purpose in my life.”
Resources
Mike’s book: Reflections for the Grieving Soul: Meditations and Scripture for Finding Hope After Loss
Check out Mike’s website at Nappaland.com
Article Mike Mentioned: 10 Unexpected Benefits of Grieving Well
Listen to Finding Hope After Loss with Mike Nappa